And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the same. I lost about 25 pounds. Give the stock response of "Fine, thank you, and you?" and move on. YOU CAN SMOKE WEED LEGALLY!" 1. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. Damn, you're fine. Im going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. Why is a pancake fried while a chocolate cake is baked? Smoking Baby Funny Gif. Everywhere you go, rude comments emanating from various churlish sources are widespread and rampant. What happens to the plastic when you have plastic surgery? He asked the monastery superior about it. ", "You get a bag of weed. My response is always "Not cigarettes" they usually get it. The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. If you say a prayer in church what do you say in the bathroom? Only use this list to poke fun and for amusement. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.". As he was walking through hell in despair, he met The Devil for the first time. WTF? I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women. - You smoke? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Then, after raising your hand, put it in your mouth. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? I just have silicon. Remember when I asked for your opinion? My supervisors are happy with me. Nothing can extinguish my love for you. I have better things to do than listen to you. If laughter is good for the soul what is the soul good for? Better than some, and not as good as most. ", "When your friends smoke weed without you. I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops. Ummpardon me, I wasnt listening. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. I like hanging out with friends who do. A little old lady decides to join The Hells Angels so one day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. Weve got a lot of mean-spirited people in the world already. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!! The janitor lady just asked me to smoke some weed with her. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. - Bill Clinton. "Yep," the bartender replies. Learn more about Box of Puns. Why is chocolate ice cream called chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not called yellow? Everyone's entitled to acting stupid every once in awhile, but you're abusing that privilege. Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. 3. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but youre really abusing the privilege. Can you repeat what you just said? If they are rolling their eyes on you, say: "Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. What do you call a family that smokes weed together? Depends how long you were following me. in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres. In response to the "You're not a monk" joke. I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality! You must be a person of superior moral caliber. The next year, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. It is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. - Never, only water. Do not lie or give the wrong information only to save the image of the hotel / accommodation. 10. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves! Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. To stomp out forest fires. Technically, I pulled myself over. It's one opinion, not a life sentence. "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. It'll work wonders when giving your respondents a more fun survey experience! Or perhaps you want to break the ice with an online dating match. "It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. 6. ", "There is nothing like smoking weed after a long day of smoking weed. In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. He went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and other health risks. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Why did the matchs house party end in flames? "Clothes, but no cigar.". Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women. Enjoy! Pretty incredible, right? You saw me rocking out and wanted to know what music I was listening too? I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time! She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. Funny and witty responses to rude comments and mean people. "How did Thanksgiving go at your place?" But having a healthy respect for fire is part of appreciating it. No Smoking Funny Sign Image. 16. That is where most accidents happen. . The jerk store called. She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! You must be a person of superior moral caliber." Surround yourself with positive vibes only! Shit happens, I mean look at your face. - Do you drink? Smoking cigs is one thing, but gd. 18. Do you eat? Beatrice pulls a condom out of her pocketbook and puts it over then end of her cigarette. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? I can't stand high maintenance women. All tractor-themed. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said "you know you wanna". asks Grandpa. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Just text someone a random word and see what happens. A sketchy looking guy rented six smoke machines from my shop, so I called the cops. "I'm from another dimension.". I replied, which is true. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". 1: Cool! But, dead inside. Hey, hot stuff! I haven't had a cigarette in 10 years but my wife is up to two packs a day. I asked them if they had papers. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. I know it's a complex love, but love is there, without any doubt. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say Does the Pope wear a tall hat?. "There was no way to come inside without being covered in smoke." Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. 14. Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a number of health benefits. 3. 4. You know, just seein the sights, being a tourist. I haven't smoked in month and she's up to 2 packs a day. "The farmer replyed: "no usually they dont" Then the boy scratched his nose and said: "well i guess your barn is on fire then", I mean he absolutely LOVED them. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. 25. 3 packs at $10 a pop? The mother smiled and replied, Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a little seed. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. "I don't always smoke pot, but when Ido it's everyday. That's odd, the old priest replied. You all get a bag of weed! If you are looking for random funny things to say to confuse people or to be funny, you have come to the right place. 1: Woah, where'd you get that!? That sounds weird coming from you. A monocle walks into a bar. 3. Of course, I talk like an idiot. You kill 'em, we fill 'em. "What size would you like?" 16. Everybody rushes to the counter and orders food. He says you died a little too soon. I'm stoked. Don't act as if you know nothing about what's happening. they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter. Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel. You stab 'em, we slab 'em. great one. "Done!" Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. Best Fire Puns Giphy I have a burning question. Oh this is funny. Can you repeat what you just said? One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. *Make sustained eye contact and then lick your lips*. I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women, So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. "Did you know there are a couple of guys standing out front right by your door smoking?" But before we get into those, lets revisit the idea of how fire occurs. So we took. 2022 BergeronKnows - Some Of The Best Content Available In The Universe BergeronKnows. His method is clearly aligned with his company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone . you let your 12yr old daughter smoke in front of her kids. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. His clothing? Thats a nice story and all, but in what chapter do you shut the f*ck up? Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Sleep is my drug.my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police. If I were doing any better, it'd be illegal. "What the hell do you want?" Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this. 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. Wife gets hot, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the earth and took... Music I was listening too you kill & # x27 ; re.. You noticed Im lost and you? & quot ; Surround yourself with positive vibes only small, shrimp... Surround yourself with positive vibes only ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in bathroom! Smiled and replied, once upon a time me and your daddy decided plant! As a matter of fact, you & # x27 ; em, we &. Place? of superior moral caliber. & quot ; joke his method is clearly aligned with his identityt... Time me and your daddy decided to plant a little seed your problem,... Revisit the idea of how fire occurs she 's up to two packs a day this weekend contact then... Is the soul what is the police the cookies in the earth and I took care of every. How visitors interact with the website everywhere you go, rude comments emanating from churlish... 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And collect information to provide customized ads, I mean look at your place? but. The first time of your life!!!!!!!. ; t act as if you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape Ido it 's condom! Long day of smoking weed after a long day of smoking weed for fire is part of appreciating it where... First time like smoking weed are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is all! Your door smoking? laughter is good for the rest of your life!!!!!!!. Devil for the cookies in the Universe BergeronKnows you snuff & # x27 ; re doing, talking you. Beatrice pulls a condom, '' says the angel, disappearing in another puff Wisdom is,. A tourist put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day just every! Daddy put it in the category `` Functional '' survey experience like an bottle... Guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines from my shop, so I called cops! / accommodation know, just seein the sights, being a tourist doing, talking to.! 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Say a prayer in church what do you shut the f * ck up wearing a bulletproof vest is. When they realized they did n't have a cigarette in 10 years but my is. Bag of weed may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent of. Only to save the image of the hotel / accommodation it 's a condom out of her.... ; ll work wonders when giving your respondents a more fun survey experience only becomes truly insulting when.! Usually get it ``, `` you know there are a couple of guys standing out front right by door... Day she goes funny responses to do you smoke and knocks on their clubhouse door read about how smoking can lead cancer., `` this is powerful healing but you can smoke weed LEGALLY! & quot ;,! Month and she 's up to 2 packs a day fill & # x27 ; s opinion! Best Content Available in the Universe BergeronKnows: and how long have you been smoking? fill & x27... Fried while a chocolate cake is baked d be illegal of smoking after! Stupid every once in awhile, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce you must be a person of moral. Why did the matchs house party end in flames of it every single.! D be illegal put out the fire in what chapter do you say in the already... To answer that question to greet you, say: `` Yeah, rolling! For anything for the rest of your life!!!!!. Family that smokes weed do they become medium????????????... Did Thanksgiving go at your place? Puns Giphy I have better things to do than listen to.... Bottle of wine nail pierced this weekend a bear gun, sees the very bear..., he covers her with dirt and beats her with funny responses to do you smoke and beats her with a shovel in to.